Top 6 Elimination Night

So Ida has replaced Barb as Donnie's rival for the top spot. The reason is that she has predicted all of the top 5, which is really impressive. Donnie can't even make that claim--he is getting all of his points for predicting Pia's early exit.

Here it is:

1. Donnie
1. Ida
3. Barb
4. Kayla
4. Susan
6. Don
6. Leesa
8. Janet
8. Cindi
10. Dad
10. Jennie
10. Katie
13. Jennifer S.
13. Jennifer O.
13. Dan

The Top 6 Sing Carole King

Jacob (Oh No Not My Baby): First, I like his outfit. I would like to see more people where sweater vests under plaid sport coats. And I think this was a good song choice because it really highlighted his vocal skills. He was able to get high and low and throw in a little doo wop. One of his best. I’m a little worried that it might be a little too old fashioned for people young enough to figure out how to vote on Idol. For the record, I can’t figure out how to vote.

Lauren (Where You Lead I Will Follow aka the Gilmore Girls theme song): Having only heard this on the intro to the Gils I liked getting the chance to hear the verses. And I liked it with Lauren’s country twang. She’s going to win. Watch.

I also liked how Ryan tried to accuse the innocent 19 year old who got pulled out of the audience of having an inappropriate relationship with a minor.

Haley and Casey Duet (I Feel the Earth Move): They really bring out the best in each other. And I thought it was hysterical when Steven called Casey “Weird Beard.” My sense of humor is very sophisticated.

Scotty (You Got a Friend): Okay, I’ve been on down on Scotty since he sang Baby Lock Them Doors three times in a row, but this was pretty good. I think Jimmy and Babyface gave him the right advice when they said to lose the Scotty voice and soften it up. Much better.

James (Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow): So before our DVR even caught up with James we had gotten three texts saying how good he was going to be. Dad’s just said “Shut up.” So obviously James had a lot to live up to. And WOW, it was awesome. Until Donnie ruined it in the middle of the chorus by accusing me of eating his last gingersnap. He said, “You ate my snap!” and made me open my mouth to show him I didn’t.

Lauren and Scotty Duet (On the Roof): This was corny as heck and I wish they hadn’t sang it. It spoiled the good vibes I was feeling towards Scotty.

Casey (Hidee HO?): I know Casey can sing because he did it at the beginning of this song. He did a good job, too. Unfortunately, he stopped singing at about 20% through the song and just growl-talked his way through the rest. Enough of the growling!

Haley (Beautiful): I want to apologize for not respecting her Adele last week. I watched it again and it was much better than I had originally thought. This week was solid. I really like her and if I had to pick a favorite it would be her, although I’m constantly worried she is going to be sent home.

James and Jacob Duet (I’m Into Something Good): Egh. The only thing that could make this more awkward is if Ryan makes some snarky comment about J-Lo's legs. Oh wait. Here it comes. Yup. Totally awkward.


Best of the night: James, Scotty
Worst of the Night: Casey
Will probably go home: Jacob

The Top Seven Minus One

I was surprised to see Stefan-o leave. Here is why: he was the only male contestant who is somewhat attractive. True. I think he’ll be okay though because I just heard that Snooki posted a Craigslist ad looking for somebody to sublet her room on the Joisey Shore.

Barb has joined Donnie in the #1 position.

1. Donnie
1. Barb
3. Susan
3. Ida
3. Kayla
6. Don
6. Leesa
8. Janet
8. Cindi
10. Jennie
10. Katie
12. Dad
12. Jennifer S.
12. Jennifer O.
12. Dan

The Top Seven: Songs of the New Millennium

Scotty (Swingin’): Okay, first: I thought they said this song was by Leann Rhymes. Did she really sing a song about swinging with a girl named Charlotte or did Scotty change the lyrics to be gender-appropriate? A quick google search revealed that her name is really LeAnn Rimes. However, the jury is out as to whether the original lyrics were about Charlie or Charlotte. What about Scotty, though? Ick. Gag me with a q-tip. This guy has got to go.

James (Uprising): Here’s the thing. I would never listen to James. What kind of occasion would I find to listen to this kind of music? Driving to work? No. On my “spreadsheet making” Pandora station? No. As part of Loopman Dan-sings-covers-at-the-coffee shop-night? No. That being said, I have to admit he’s got talent.

Haley (Rolling in the Deep): I am OBSESSED with this song. I have been listening to it non-stop for weeks and Haley is the PERFECT person to sing it. I especially love the John Legend version. If you haven’t heard it, you should YouTube it asap. If I knew how to make a link I would post it here. Anyway. When it came right down to it, Haley’s start was very slow. I was nervous for her thinking she was going to screw up because she had so much to live up to. Overall, it had some good moments towards the end but wasn’t fabulous. Nice try.

Jacob (Dance with my Father): Snooze.

Casey (When It’s Cold Outside): I think the problem with Casey is he has no star quality. The beginning of this song was really good, but I wanted his voice to be deeper and for him to SING more and growl less. When he got so close to Jennifer I was really uncomfortable because I imagined that his beard probably smelled and if he were that close to me my gag reflex would kick in. Beards are nasty, yo.

I just realized I’ve been really critical tonight about kids who are trying their hardest to do something I could never in a million years hope to accomplish.

Maybe they’ll do better next week.

Moving on.

Stefano (Closer): Whoa, look at that guy move. He can dance. BUT: did you notice that he didn’t sing the chorus at all????? I think it's because he couldn’t! The notes were too high and it was too fast. If you don’t believe me, please YouTube it. You know, if he had worn a fedora I might not have noticed because he looks so cute in a fedora.

Lauren (Born to Fly): Uh oh, this is starting off really rough. And I’m so sad, because I watched her Miley Cyrus song about a million times last week. This week she just shook her hips and stomped her feet and acted like that counted as a good performance. I’m still rooting for her though. Root, root!

Best of the night: Haley or Casey
Worst of the Night: Scotty
Going Home: Jacob

These Results Brought to you by Two Servings of DayQuil

Please enjoy Donnie’s commentary about last night’s show in the post below. Also, please enjoy a mental image of him sitting in the recliner with his feet on the coffee table shouting “I am Nostradamus!” when he realized his prediction would put him in first place again this week.

1. Donnie
2. Ida
3. Susan
3. Barb
3. Leesa
3. Kayla
7. Don
8. Jennie
8. Janet
8. Cindi
8. Jennifer O.
8. Dan
13. Dad
13. Katie
15. Jennifer S.

Also, Donnie was really downplaying the extent of my illness when he described it as “under the weather.” I’m so sick I didn’t go to class. That is a FIRST. And when Maggie called to see if I would be up in half an hour to look at her new haircut I screamed, “Hell no, I’m sick!” Whoops. I guess I'm not a very good patient.

4/13: Movie Night (Guest Blogger)

I’m guest blogging for Kay Kay tonight. She’s been under the weather for a couple of days and couldn’t muster up the energy to watch the show and type at the same time. So I'll do my best, but I've got a lot to live up to!



Paul

Jimmy says, He’s got to bring a great time….

Kayla says: it’s like he’s in his own world. She didn’t like it at all. It was awful

To me it looks like he just escaped the bulls in Pamplona and stumbled into a talent show. The performance was fine, but I don’t think he’s an idol.

Judges: Love it, love it, love it. What’s new? They’re soft.

Lauren

Jimmy says, “steal Pia’s votes!” I like Jimmy.

Very good performance. There were maybe a couple of moments where it could have been amped up a little bit, but I don’t know what that means.

Steven is moved beyond tears—what exactly does that mean? I’m not convinced that he could be moved to tears in the first place.


Stefano the Sailor

Jimmy says, “I believe you can win!”

Kayla says: “I hate his V-neck. He’s going too fast.”

I think he really gained some momentum as the song went on, but he still didn’t do anything to stand out from the rest of the pack. He will definitely be in the hot seat again this week. Still making the weird faces and moving his eyebrows around.

What Simon would say (because the judges won’t get real), “It was okay. I mean it wasn’t great, it was just okay.”





Scotty

Jimmy, “You can sing anything.”

Scotty was going to sing “Everybody’s Talking,” but get this…he decided to sing…a country song. Shocking.

He seems like he forgot the words or is lacking a little confidence tonight. This was a very sleepy song. It’s also possible that I was sleepy. Not much else to say.

Kayla fell asleep. Then she woke up and said, “eh, all right.”

Casey

Jimmy, “I think you’ve got to do a song that says all right this will help me win.”

Casey: “I’m not that concerned with winning.”

Well, I can see they painted the bass silver to make it a little more exciting. He also threw in some strange faces. My question is, what kind of artist does Casey want to be? Am I that far with my talent meter? I wouldn’t even pick this guy to win Jazz Idol. Three weeks ago he was butchering Nirvana.

Simon would have had a field day with that.

The judges say…Encore!

Kayla says, “cough, cough, cough…It was all right…Are they going to dislike anybody? I miss Simon.”

Haley

Jimmy says, “Haley has to transform herself.”

She has a lot of star power. Way more energy than Casey. She definitely could have used a little more variety in this song, as it didn’t really highlight too much of her singing ability.

The judges started speaking the truth, but why only for Haley?

Kayla, “I liked it”


Jacob

Jimmy says, “I don’t think Jacob needs to do corny right now.”

Jacob seems like he’s getting tired of the competition. He’s definitely the best singer in the competition.

Kayla: “It was good.”

James

Jimmy, “You’d better be careful this week.”

James was messing with Jimmy. I think this was an awful idea. Jimmy knows his stuff.

Then again, James did come out and bring a lot of energy. But he also stopped singing for a good 45 seconds. Are we supposed to vote for a guitar solo and lights show?

Kayla, “I didn’t like it. It gave me a headache.”



The Summary

Best Singer: Jacob

Best Performance: Haley

Time to go home: Stefano or Paul

Bracket Standing, Top 9 Elimination

Before I give you the bracket standing, I have a few comments about tonight’s guests:

Constantine: Where has he been for six years? I’ve missed him! His performance definitely had the dramatic buildup that I remember from his season.

Iggy Pop? First of all, I don’t know who this is. Second, this guy looks like he accidently forgot to put on a shirt. That could not have been intentional. I sort of feel like I walked in on him dancing in front of the mirror while he was changing his clothes. Ick.

Also, Ryan was SO MEAN when he said to Jacob: “I can tell you right now you will be leaving us… and going back to the couch.”

And I have to admit I was shocked that Pia was eliminated. But not as shocked as my dad who immediately afterwards sent me a text message that said, “What the **** can you believe this.”

So based on that elimination, Donnie is in first place in our bracket competition (he had Pia leaving in position 8). The order is:

1. Donnie
2. Kayla
3. Leesa
4. Barb
4. Janet
4. Susan
5. Don
5. Ida
9. Dad
9. Jennie
9. Jennifer S.
12. Katie
12. Cindi
12. Jennifer O.
15. Dan

The Top 9 Sing

Jacob (Man in the Mirror): I love that he changed his song from “Let’s Get it On” to “Man in the Mirror.” So much more appropriate for prime time. If I could sing this would probably be my tune. He did an okay job, I was happy that he did something a little different. My favorite part was afterwards during the commercial when Donnie did his imitation.

Haley (Piece of My Heart): This started really strong and then got a little bit too growly. I like the growl as a special effect but not as the status quo. She sounds like she’s gargling. Still love her though!

Casey (Have You Ever Seen the Rain): Aw, that was very sweet, Casey. It was like getting a funny chain email in the middle of a stressful day. One with surprised cats and intentionally misspelled captions.

Lauren (You Make Me Feel): She is such a natural. She is just like a less humble Kelly Clarkson. Wow.

James (While My Guitar Gently Weeps): I think it was sort of genius to slow it down tonight. If anything, it made him stand out from the other contestants. And I loved hearing that he had been working on that song for five years. I’ve never worked on anything for five years.

Scotty (That’s Alright): Oh my goodness, this is so terrible. I hate it. HATE. He looks like a ventriloquist dummy.

Pia (River Deep Mountain High): She is so poised that I can’t even relate to her.

Stefano (When A Man Loves a Woman): Ohhhh, I love how it starts out so high. Unfortunately, I think this song is a little bit too old fashioned and there’s not much he can do to modernize it. He’s definitely feeling it though. And he’s trying very hard to keep his eyes open, so points for that.

Paul (Folsom Prison Blues): I love me some Johnny Cash and Paul definitely sang this like he was out of his gourd. I was digging the bluegrass. Great. Although our composite ranking has him leaving this week, I’m hoping he sticks around.

Best of the Night: Paul, Lauren
Worst of the Night: Scotty
Will probably go home: Stefano

Only Read This if You Heart Spreadsheets

Here’s the deal: I came up with a formula that will give me a better indicator of whose ranking is the closest to the actual order of contestants. I would apply for a Nobel Peace prize in mathematics but they gave it to the guy who came up with an “everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers.” (Wait, seriously? You get the Peace Prize for that? I usually cope with a wide range of numbers by having positive attitude and allowing myself one lite beer each evening.)

The point is, you can scrap that confusing point system I posted last week. Here is the new formula that will determine our winner:
=LARGE(array(PREDICTED RANKING-ACTUAL RANKING),1)-LARGE(array(PREDICTED RANKING-ACTUAL RANKING),9)
- .25(IF,1 top three correct) - .50(IF,two top three correct) - .75(IF, three top three correct) – 1(IF, Winner predicted).

Essentially, I will look at the difference between YOUR ranking for each contestant and each contestant’s ACTUAL ranking. If I look at how far your worst two rankings are from each other, I will have a range for your prediction. This works because there will be both positive and negative numbers—you could either guess that someone is much lower or higher than they actually came out. The more people you get on the spot or within one or two places of their actual placement, the better your chances of having a small range. Until the contestant is eliminated his or her place will be “5”, which will just be used as a placeholder. Overall, the LOWER your score, the better your ranking in the bracket contest. Once we get to the top three, I will subtract up to .75 points from each person’s range depending on how many of the top three they have predicted (you get .25 points subtracted for each top three person you select). If you predict the winner, you get an additional 1 point subtracted from your score.

If you are sane, you could probably care less how I’m calculating this and are just content to check your place on the leader board each week. In fact, you’ve probably tuned me out at this point. Testing, testing? Anybody still reading this?

Anyway, based on this formula and considering our COMPOSITE ranking, this is how I predict the bracket contest will turn out.

1. Cindi
2. Janet
3. Katie
4. Dad
5. Susan (tie)
6. Kayla (tie
7. Jennie
8. Jennifer S.
9. Barb
10. Don
11. Donnie (tie)
12. Jennifer O. (tie)
13. Dan (tie)
14. Ida

Of course, it’s still anybody’s game, so don’t let this discourage you. Last year our composite predicted Siobhan would take the whole thing and she was eliminated pretty early on.

List of Contestants

So my dad asked me if I would list the contestants because he "only remembers Pia." So here they are, in random order: Pia, Casey, Paul, Jacob, James, Haley, Lauren, Scotty, Stefano.

And don't worry about the rules--I have a spreadsheet that calcuates this. All you have to do is rank people in the order in which you think they will be eliminated and I'll do the rest :-)