Um... did Lauren and Scotty smooch when he won?? Have they been dating all along?

So, Ida, I owe you five bucks. I'll put it in interoffice mail :-) You were the ONLY person in our competition who predicted that lil Scotty McCreery would win.

Here are our final standings:


1. Ida
2. Donnie
3. Kayla
3. Don
3. Barb
6. Janet
7. Cindi
7. Susan
9. Jennifer S.
9. Katie
11. Leesa
12. Jennie
12. Jennifer O.
12. Dan
15. Dad

Thanks for playing! I know I said if Scotty wins I'm boycotting Idol, but I'll probably get over it.

Finale!

Round 1: Contestant’s Favorite Song of the Season

Scotty (Gone): Well, I liked his t-shirt.

Lauren (Flat on the Floor): She certainly looks like a celebrity, and she performed well. Unfortunately the vocals were a little flat and just didn’t floor me.


Round 2: Contestant’s Idols Choose the Song

Scotty (Check Yes or No): Did George Strait really pick one his own songs for Scotty to sing? Haha. Scotty did a fine job but it was nothing special. It sounded like any number of random country songs I might hear on the one radio station that comes in between Florence and Louisville. Trust me.

Lauren (Maybe it Was Memphis): Perfect song choice, Carrie Underwood. It gave us the opportunity to hear the “tear” in Lauren’s voice, as Stephen described it a couple weeks ago. This was great—one of her best songs. My only suggestion would be for her to slow it down a little bit.


Round 3: Contestant’s First Single

Scotty (I Love You This Big): Randy was absolutely right, this range was good for Scotty. And the lyrics were simple and sweet. If he weren’t corny with a dash of asshole I would have to give him props.

Lauren (Like My Mother Does): Lauren did well with this song, considering the issues she was having with her voicebox or whatever was wrong with her. She didn't blow me away or anything, but it was good.


This could go either way.

Does that last sentence communicate the enthusiasm I am feeling for this season's final two? It's sort of like last night when I asked Donnie to choose between pizza and quesadillas for dinner and I realized it didn't matter either way because they were both basically white bread and cheese.

In fact, it's EXACTLY like that.

Dirty Dancing

So it comes down to Lauren and Scotty. Sorry to see Haley go home, but I was thrilled to hear her sing “Bennie and the Jets” one more time. The first time she sang this (on the piano while wearing an Easter dress) was probably my favorite performance of the season. Somebody please humor me by putting a note in the comments section telling me what YOUR favorite performance of the season was. Please? If you do, I’ll give you .05 bonus points. Because I'm definitely not above bribery.

So Donnie and Ida are tied and it all comes down the final. I’ve run the scenarios and if Lauren wins Donnie gets the purse and if Scotty wins it goes to Ida. EXCITING! The rest of us are far enough behind that we have no chance of winning, even with the .05 bonus points. Sorry.

1. Donnie
1. Ida
3. Don
3. Barb
3. Kayla
6. Susan
6. Janet
8. Katie
8. Cindi
10. Leesa
11. Jennifer S.
12. Jennie
13. Dad
13. Jennifer O.
13. Dan

Also, just a thought, but was Nicole Scherzinger’s dance not totally inappropriate for prime time? She looked like she learned her moves at a gentleman’s club.

The Top 3 Duke it Out

Round 1 Contestant’s Choice

Scotty (Amazed): I think I would have liked his version of this song if I could listen to it on the radio and I didn’t have to see him raise his eyebrows at the camera.

Lauren (Wild One): It felt like she was rushing through this song. And maybe like she was losing her voice a little bit? She has a great facial structure though.

Haley (What Is and What Should Never Be): Her voice sounded gorgeous on this. I almost died when she fell on the steps, but good for her for getting up and finishing like nothing happened. I knew those shoes were a risk as soon as I saw them.

Round 2 Jimmy Levine’s Choice

Scotty (Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not): I wish so badly that I had a video of Donnie standing up behind the couch doing his best imitation of Scotty shaking his hips. It was almost as good as the time when Donnie and Adam had a Beyonce dance competition.

Lauren (If I Die Young): OMG this is the most morbid song I’ve ever heard. But she sounded SO GOOD. In fact, it sounded like a winning moment. Whatch’all think?

Haley (Rhiannon): Wow, all the dirty old men are definitely going to vote for her for how she looked when her hair and dress were blowing in the wind machine.

Round 3 Judges’ Choice

Scotty (She Believes in Me): You know how I feel about Scotty. So you know that it pains me to say that this performance was pretty great. BE. GRUDGE. ING. LY.

Lauren (I Hope You Dance): I think Lauren did just enough to make this song her own and keep it from being snoozeville. Plus she got to wear a prom dress. So that was awesome.

I predict that Lauren is going to win and in one year she is going to be really skinny.

Haley (You Oughta Know): Bad song pick, guys. These judges have had it out for Haley all season. This did not help her chances.

In It To Win It Count: 4

Standings After Elimination

If Scotty wins American Idol I’m going to have to find a new show next year. There is a show on TLC called “My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings UK.” For real.

So… here are your results, America!

1. Donnie
2. Ida
3. Barb
4. Kayla
4. Don
4. Susan
7. Janet
8. Katie
8. Cindi
10. Leesa
11. Jennifer S.
12. Dad
12. Jennie
14. Jennifer O.
14. Dan

Donnie has nudged Ida out of first place. This guy should get his own show. I’ll accept possibilities for titles of this series in the comments section. Remember, “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding UK” is already taken.

Here are the people who got bonus points for having picked people in the top 3 (-.25 points subtracted for each Top 3 pick):

Picked Lauren in the Top 3
Kayla
Donnie
Susan
Ida
Janet
Katie

Picked Scotty in the Top 3
Jennifer S.
Ida
Cindi

Picked Haley in the Top 3
Donnie
Don
Barb

You will see that while no one was able to predict the entire Top 3, both Donnie and Ida picked 2 out of 3.

The Top 4 Wrestle with the Devil

James (Don’t Stop Believing): Wait a minute, was Randy in Journey? This was pretty good, but it was super short. James deserves to make it to the top three, I just hope it’s not at Haley’s expense.

Haley (What About Us): I’m not sure if Michael Jackson was the right choice for Haley. It’s a little blue but not in a bluesy Haley way. She picked it up a notch at the end, but I think she could have chosen a song that showcased HER style a little more. And UH OH she talked back to Randy. Bad move. You can tell she’s not used to being wrong. I get that.

Scotty the Body (Another Pop Country Song): Haha, Scotty said he’d kiss the grass if he got to do Homecoming Week. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? But the song. I’m sorry, I can’t get past that the lyrics in this song include the phrase, “I’m not sure I can tell you the difference between Iraq and Iran.” And yes, I feel qualified to pass judgment on people's geography knowledge now that I know that Michigan borders Ohio.

Lauren (Build it Anyway): What a great song choice. I mean, really, she could NOT have picked a better song. And her dress was gorgeous. Her hair was gorgeous. Haley is really going to have to step it up. Otherwise Lauren is going to have confetti in her hair in about three weeks.

ACK! What is that big black dot on Gaga’s face???? It looks like a caterpillar is about to crawl out of there.

Haley (I Love You): Sorry, Hale. This was a little over the top. I felt like I was at the opera. The judges liked it, but unfortunately I can’t imagine who would vote for this…

Scotty (Young Blood): Overall, this was a disgusting performance. I hate how he contorts his face and bends his shoulders back. Ew. I do love that he had to kiss his cross after talking to Lady Gaga. As soon as he said that I had a mental image of him handling snakes and speaking tongues, which I don’t think is that far from what we’ll see next week if he gets to do Homecoming Week.

Lauren (Trouble): I can’t understand why Lauren would pick this song if she didn’t want to call herself evil. I guess she and Scotty both need an exorcism after meeting with Gaga. I usually dislike Elvis songs as a rule, but she performed this one right out of the ballpark.

James (Love Potion Number Nine): The beginning was very Rocky Horror Picture Show. In fact, I get that vibe in general from James. This was a GREAT vocal. Much better than the Rocky Horror Picture Show actors at the Esquire.

Best of the Night: Lauren or James
Worst of the Night: Scotty
IN IT TO WIN IT COUNT: 2

And Then There Were Four...

Wow, Lauren was about to LOSE IT when she found out she was in the bottom two. Ha! She thinks she has it in the bag. Sort of like Donnie, who is already planning how he is going to spend his five dollar winnings. I still think Ida and Barb are definite contenders!

1. Donnie
1. Ida
3. Barb
4. Kayla
4. Don
4. Susan
7. Janet
8. Katie
8. Cindi
8. Leesa
11. Jennifer S.
12. Dad
12. Jennie
14. Jennifer O.
14. Dan

Songs From Now and Then

First of all, GO HALEY! I’ve picked my favorite. Let’s hope she does me proud.

How vague is this theme? One song from the past couple years and one song from “back in the day?” Haha.

James (30 Seconds to Mars): He sounds off. But nothing could top last week’s performance. I like him much better sitting on a stool than high-fiving the crowd. Overall, this was probably his worst performance. Very scream-y.

Jacob (No Air): Did it seem like he was struggling on the high notes? Randy said the notes were “sharp,” and I think he’s right. I’ve never heard this song and it just didn’t do it for me.

Lauren (Flat on the Floor): Here I go with more criticism, but this is the kind of country I really dislike. Her voice sounded pretty good, and I think Sheryl’s advice to stand in one spot was right on. And her hair looks amazing. Is it just me or could you totally see her on an episode of 16 and Pregnant?

Scotty (She’s Gone): I loved how he sounded in practice and I wish he could have kept that still control during the live performance.

Haley! (You and I): Oh my word she is fabulous. That was perfect. LOVE IT. J-Lo and Randy are HAYTERS.

James (Without You): Ohhhh, I love this song. This is the James that I loved from last week. When he does this kind of song you can really hear his talent. Wow.

Jacob (Love Hurts): Good song choice! Jimmy may have screwed Haley but he was right to tell Jacob not to sing another Luther or another gospel. Unfortunately, I think what I like about this song got buried under all the Jacob-ness.

Lauren (Unchained Melody): Okay! This is what I like to hear from Lauren. Gorgeous.

Scotty (You Were Always On My Mind): That kid looks like he could go off at any moment. I don’t trust him.

Haley (The House of the Rising Sun): Maybe it was the stool, but I LOVED the intro. I actually loved the whole thing. And she got a stand-up clap from J-Lo and Steven! Nice job, Hale! I swear I would vote if I could figure out how!

Best of the Night: Haley
Worst of the Night: Jacob
Should go Home: Jacob
Randy’s “in it to win it” count: 3

Top 6 Elimination Night

So Ida has replaced Barb as Donnie's rival for the top spot. The reason is that she has predicted all of the top 5, which is really impressive. Donnie can't even make that claim--he is getting all of his points for predicting Pia's early exit.

Here it is:

1. Donnie
1. Ida
3. Barb
4. Kayla
4. Susan
6. Don
6. Leesa
8. Janet
8. Cindi
10. Dad
10. Jennie
10. Katie
13. Jennifer S.
13. Jennifer O.
13. Dan

The Top 6 Sing Carole King

Jacob (Oh No Not My Baby): First, I like his outfit. I would like to see more people where sweater vests under plaid sport coats. And I think this was a good song choice because it really highlighted his vocal skills. He was able to get high and low and throw in a little doo wop. One of his best. I’m a little worried that it might be a little too old fashioned for people young enough to figure out how to vote on Idol. For the record, I can’t figure out how to vote.

Lauren (Where You Lead I Will Follow aka the Gilmore Girls theme song): Having only heard this on the intro to the Gils I liked getting the chance to hear the verses. And I liked it with Lauren’s country twang. She’s going to win. Watch.

I also liked how Ryan tried to accuse the innocent 19 year old who got pulled out of the audience of having an inappropriate relationship with a minor.

Haley and Casey Duet (I Feel the Earth Move): They really bring out the best in each other. And I thought it was hysterical when Steven called Casey “Weird Beard.” My sense of humor is very sophisticated.

Scotty (You Got a Friend): Okay, I’ve been on down on Scotty since he sang Baby Lock Them Doors three times in a row, but this was pretty good. I think Jimmy and Babyface gave him the right advice when they said to lose the Scotty voice and soften it up. Much better.

James (Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow): So before our DVR even caught up with James we had gotten three texts saying how good he was going to be. Dad’s just said “Shut up.” So obviously James had a lot to live up to. And WOW, it was awesome. Until Donnie ruined it in the middle of the chorus by accusing me of eating his last gingersnap. He said, “You ate my snap!” and made me open my mouth to show him I didn’t.

Lauren and Scotty Duet (On the Roof): This was corny as heck and I wish they hadn’t sang it. It spoiled the good vibes I was feeling towards Scotty.

Casey (Hidee HO?): I know Casey can sing because he did it at the beginning of this song. He did a good job, too. Unfortunately, he stopped singing at about 20% through the song and just growl-talked his way through the rest. Enough of the growling!

Haley (Beautiful): I want to apologize for not respecting her Adele last week. I watched it again and it was much better than I had originally thought. This week was solid. I really like her and if I had to pick a favorite it would be her, although I’m constantly worried she is going to be sent home.

James and Jacob Duet (I’m Into Something Good): Egh. The only thing that could make this more awkward is if Ryan makes some snarky comment about J-Lo's legs. Oh wait. Here it comes. Yup. Totally awkward.


Best of the night: James, Scotty
Worst of the Night: Casey
Will probably go home: Jacob

The Top Seven Minus One

I was surprised to see Stefan-o leave. Here is why: he was the only male contestant who is somewhat attractive. True. I think he’ll be okay though because I just heard that Snooki posted a Craigslist ad looking for somebody to sublet her room on the Joisey Shore.

Barb has joined Donnie in the #1 position.

1. Donnie
1. Barb
3. Susan
3. Ida
3. Kayla
6. Don
6. Leesa
8. Janet
8. Cindi
10. Jennie
10. Katie
12. Dad
12. Jennifer S.
12. Jennifer O.
12. Dan

The Top Seven: Songs of the New Millennium

Scotty (Swingin’): Okay, first: I thought they said this song was by Leann Rhymes. Did she really sing a song about swinging with a girl named Charlotte or did Scotty change the lyrics to be gender-appropriate? A quick google search revealed that her name is really LeAnn Rimes. However, the jury is out as to whether the original lyrics were about Charlie or Charlotte. What about Scotty, though? Ick. Gag me with a q-tip. This guy has got to go.

James (Uprising): Here’s the thing. I would never listen to James. What kind of occasion would I find to listen to this kind of music? Driving to work? No. On my “spreadsheet making” Pandora station? No. As part of Loopman Dan-sings-covers-at-the-coffee shop-night? No. That being said, I have to admit he’s got talent.

Haley (Rolling in the Deep): I am OBSESSED with this song. I have been listening to it non-stop for weeks and Haley is the PERFECT person to sing it. I especially love the John Legend version. If you haven’t heard it, you should YouTube it asap. If I knew how to make a link I would post it here. Anyway. When it came right down to it, Haley’s start was very slow. I was nervous for her thinking she was going to screw up because she had so much to live up to. Overall, it had some good moments towards the end but wasn’t fabulous. Nice try.

Jacob (Dance with my Father): Snooze.

Casey (When It’s Cold Outside): I think the problem with Casey is he has no star quality. The beginning of this song was really good, but I wanted his voice to be deeper and for him to SING more and growl less. When he got so close to Jennifer I was really uncomfortable because I imagined that his beard probably smelled and if he were that close to me my gag reflex would kick in. Beards are nasty, yo.

I just realized I’ve been really critical tonight about kids who are trying their hardest to do something I could never in a million years hope to accomplish.

Maybe they’ll do better next week.

Moving on.

Stefano (Closer): Whoa, look at that guy move. He can dance. BUT: did you notice that he didn’t sing the chorus at all????? I think it's because he couldn’t! The notes were too high and it was too fast. If you don’t believe me, please YouTube it. You know, if he had worn a fedora I might not have noticed because he looks so cute in a fedora.

Lauren (Born to Fly): Uh oh, this is starting off really rough. And I’m so sad, because I watched her Miley Cyrus song about a million times last week. This week she just shook her hips and stomped her feet and acted like that counted as a good performance. I’m still rooting for her though. Root, root!

Best of the night: Haley or Casey
Worst of the Night: Scotty
Going Home: Jacob

These Results Brought to you by Two Servings of DayQuil

Please enjoy Donnie’s commentary about last night’s show in the post below. Also, please enjoy a mental image of him sitting in the recliner with his feet on the coffee table shouting “I am Nostradamus!” when he realized his prediction would put him in first place again this week.

1. Donnie
2. Ida
3. Susan
3. Barb
3. Leesa
3. Kayla
7. Don
8. Jennie
8. Janet
8. Cindi
8. Jennifer O.
8. Dan
13. Dad
13. Katie
15. Jennifer S.

Also, Donnie was really downplaying the extent of my illness when he described it as “under the weather.” I’m so sick I didn’t go to class. That is a FIRST. And when Maggie called to see if I would be up in half an hour to look at her new haircut I screamed, “Hell no, I’m sick!” Whoops. I guess I'm not a very good patient.

4/13: Movie Night (Guest Blogger)

I’m guest blogging for Kay Kay tonight. She’s been under the weather for a couple of days and couldn’t muster up the energy to watch the show and type at the same time. So I'll do my best, but I've got a lot to live up to!



Paul

Jimmy says, He’s got to bring a great time….

Kayla says: it’s like he’s in his own world. She didn’t like it at all. It was awful

To me it looks like he just escaped the bulls in Pamplona and stumbled into a talent show. The performance was fine, but I don’t think he’s an idol.

Judges: Love it, love it, love it. What’s new? They’re soft.

Lauren

Jimmy says, “steal Pia’s votes!” I like Jimmy.

Very good performance. There were maybe a couple of moments where it could have been amped up a little bit, but I don’t know what that means.

Steven is moved beyond tears—what exactly does that mean? I’m not convinced that he could be moved to tears in the first place.


Stefano the Sailor

Jimmy says, “I believe you can win!”

Kayla says: “I hate his V-neck. He’s going too fast.”

I think he really gained some momentum as the song went on, but he still didn’t do anything to stand out from the rest of the pack. He will definitely be in the hot seat again this week. Still making the weird faces and moving his eyebrows around.

What Simon would say (because the judges won’t get real), “It was okay. I mean it wasn’t great, it was just okay.”





Scotty

Jimmy, “You can sing anything.”

Scotty was going to sing “Everybody’s Talking,” but get this…he decided to sing…a country song. Shocking.

He seems like he forgot the words or is lacking a little confidence tonight. This was a very sleepy song. It’s also possible that I was sleepy. Not much else to say.

Kayla fell asleep. Then she woke up and said, “eh, all right.”

Casey

Jimmy, “I think you’ve got to do a song that says all right this will help me win.”

Casey: “I’m not that concerned with winning.”

Well, I can see they painted the bass silver to make it a little more exciting. He also threw in some strange faces. My question is, what kind of artist does Casey want to be? Am I that far with my talent meter? I wouldn’t even pick this guy to win Jazz Idol. Three weeks ago he was butchering Nirvana.

Simon would have had a field day with that.

The judges say…Encore!

Kayla says, “cough, cough, cough…It was all right…Are they going to dislike anybody? I miss Simon.”

Haley

Jimmy says, “Haley has to transform herself.”

She has a lot of star power. Way more energy than Casey. She definitely could have used a little more variety in this song, as it didn’t really highlight too much of her singing ability.

The judges started speaking the truth, but why only for Haley?

Kayla, “I liked it”


Jacob

Jimmy says, “I don’t think Jacob needs to do corny right now.”

Jacob seems like he’s getting tired of the competition. He’s definitely the best singer in the competition.

Kayla: “It was good.”

James

Jimmy, “You’d better be careful this week.”

James was messing with Jimmy. I think this was an awful idea. Jimmy knows his stuff.

Then again, James did come out and bring a lot of energy. But he also stopped singing for a good 45 seconds. Are we supposed to vote for a guitar solo and lights show?

Kayla, “I didn’t like it. It gave me a headache.”



The Summary

Best Singer: Jacob

Best Performance: Haley

Time to go home: Stefano or Paul

Bracket Standing, Top 9 Elimination

Before I give you the bracket standing, I have a few comments about tonight’s guests:

Constantine: Where has he been for six years? I’ve missed him! His performance definitely had the dramatic buildup that I remember from his season.

Iggy Pop? First of all, I don’t know who this is. Second, this guy looks like he accidently forgot to put on a shirt. That could not have been intentional. I sort of feel like I walked in on him dancing in front of the mirror while he was changing his clothes. Ick.

Also, Ryan was SO MEAN when he said to Jacob: “I can tell you right now you will be leaving us… and going back to the couch.”

And I have to admit I was shocked that Pia was eliminated. But not as shocked as my dad who immediately afterwards sent me a text message that said, “What the **** can you believe this.”

So based on that elimination, Donnie is in first place in our bracket competition (he had Pia leaving in position 8). The order is:

1. Donnie
2. Kayla
3. Leesa
4. Barb
4. Janet
4. Susan
5. Don
5. Ida
9. Dad
9. Jennie
9. Jennifer S.
12. Katie
12. Cindi
12. Jennifer O.
15. Dan

The Top 9 Sing

Jacob (Man in the Mirror): I love that he changed his song from “Let’s Get it On” to “Man in the Mirror.” So much more appropriate for prime time. If I could sing this would probably be my tune. He did an okay job, I was happy that he did something a little different. My favorite part was afterwards during the commercial when Donnie did his imitation.

Haley (Piece of My Heart): This started really strong and then got a little bit too growly. I like the growl as a special effect but not as the status quo. She sounds like she’s gargling. Still love her though!

Casey (Have You Ever Seen the Rain): Aw, that was very sweet, Casey. It was like getting a funny chain email in the middle of a stressful day. One with surprised cats and intentionally misspelled captions.

Lauren (You Make Me Feel): She is such a natural. She is just like a less humble Kelly Clarkson. Wow.

James (While My Guitar Gently Weeps): I think it was sort of genius to slow it down tonight. If anything, it made him stand out from the other contestants. And I loved hearing that he had been working on that song for five years. I’ve never worked on anything for five years.

Scotty (That’s Alright): Oh my goodness, this is so terrible. I hate it. HATE. He looks like a ventriloquist dummy.

Pia (River Deep Mountain High): She is so poised that I can’t even relate to her.

Stefano (When A Man Loves a Woman): Ohhhh, I love how it starts out so high. Unfortunately, I think this song is a little bit too old fashioned and there’s not much he can do to modernize it. He’s definitely feeling it though. And he’s trying very hard to keep his eyes open, so points for that.

Paul (Folsom Prison Blues): I love me some Johnny Cash and Paul definitely sang this like he was out of his gourd. I was digging the bluegrass. Great. Although our composite ranking has him leaving this week, I’m hoping he sticks around.

Best of the Night: Paul, Lauren
Worst of the Night: Scotty
Will probably go home: Stefano

Only Read This if You Heart Spreadsheets

Here’s the deal: I came up with a formula that will give me a better indicator of whose ranking is the closest to the actual order of contestants. I would apply for a Nobel Peace prize in mathematics but they gave it to the guy who came up with an “everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers.” (Wait, seriously? You get the Peace Prize for that? I usually cope with a wide range of numbers by having positive attitude and allowing myself one lite beer each evening.)

The point is, you can scrap that confusing point system I posted last week. Here is the new formula that will determine our winner:
=LARGE(array(PREDICTED RANKING-ACTUAL RANKING),1)-LARGE(array(PREDICTED RANKING-ACTUAL RANKING),9)
- .25(IF,1 top three correct) - .50(IF,two top three correct) - .75(IF, three top three correct) – 1(IF, Winner predicted).

Essentially, I will look at the difference between YOUR ranking for each contestant and each contestant’s ACTUAL ranking. If I look at how far your worst two rankings are from each other, I will have a range for your prediction. This works because there will be both positive and negative numbers—you could either guess that someone is much lower or higher than they actually came out. The more people you get on the spot or within one or two places of their actual placement, the better your chances of having a small range. Until the contestant is eliminated his or her place will be “5”, which will just be used as a placeholder. Overall, the LOWER your score, the better your ranking in the bracket contest. Once we get to the top three, I will subtract up to .75 points from each person’s range depending on how many of the top three they have predicted (you get .25 points subtracted for each top three person you select). If you predict the winner, you get an additional 1 point subtracted from your score.

If you are sane, you could probably care less how I’m calculating this and are just content to check your place on the leader board each week. In fact, you’ve probably tuned me out at this point. Testing, testing? Anybody still reading this?

Anyway, based on this formula and considering our COMPOSITE ranking, this is how I predict the bracket contest will turn out.

1. Cindi
2. Janet
3. Katie
4. Dad
5. Susan (tie)
6. Kayla (tie
7. Jennie
8. Jennifer S.
9. Barb
10. Don
11. Donnie (tie)
12. Jennifer O. (tie)
13. Dan (tie)
14. Ida

Of course, it’s still anybody’s game, so don’t let this discourage you. Last year our composite predicted Siobhan would take the whole thing and she was eliminated pretty early on.

List of Contestants

So my dad asked me if I would list the contestants because he "only remembers Pia." So here they are, in random order: Pia, Casey, Paul, Jacob, James, Haley, Lauren, Scotty, Stefano.

And don't worry about the rules--I have a spreadsheet that calcuates this. All you have to do is rank people in the order in which you think they will be eliminated and I'll do the rest :-)

Post Your 2011 Entries Here

Aight, ya'll. It's time for the much awaited "bracket" contest (I know, I know, it's not really a bracket, but close enough). Please post your top 9 rankings here. You should rank contestants in the order in which you predict they will be eliminated. #9 should be the person you think will be eliminated first and #1 should be the winner. Each week I will update the standings and the overall winner will receive a $5 bill from me in an envelope. If I win then I get to buy myself a couple giant diet cokes!

The rules are based on a very complicated formula (below). It's too exhausting to try to retype so please forgive the fact that I have copied and pasted from the entry that I wrote last year. Because I'm very detail-oriented, I have changed the names in some of my examples.

Entries must be posted by TUESDAY, APRIL 5th at 5:00 PM.

HAPPY RANKING!

Love, Kayla

The Point System

On the Spot = 3 points: You get 3 points for each rank you hit on the number. For example, if you put Paul in position #8 and he is eliminated that week then you get three points.

Streak of Two = 3 points: You get 3 points for each “streak of two.” For example, if you say that Jacob will be eliminated the week right before Lauren (no matter what their ranks) you get 3 points.

Reverse Streak = 2 points: You get 2 points for a “reverse streak.” For example, if you say that Lauren will be eliminated the week right before Jacob (no matter what their ranks) but Jacob is eliminated the week before Lauren, you get 2 points.

Streak of Three = 5 points: You get 5 points for each “streak of three.” For example, if you say that Jacob will be eliminated the week before Lauren and following him will be Pia, you get 5 points. You already earned 3 points for your streak of two, so you don’t get them again for the two streaks of two within the streak of three (for saying that Michael would go before Siobhan and Siobhan would go before Lee. Nice try, but sorry!). (What the heck!?!? That was too confusing to even try to change the names from last year!!)

Streak of Four or Five (or more)= 10 points each. You get 10 points for each “streak of four” or “streak of five.” Streaks build, so the following could happen:

10. Contestant A
9. Contestant B 3 points, streak of two
8. Contestant C 5 points, streak of three
7. Contestant D 10 points, streak of four
6. Contestant E 10 points, streak of five

= 28 points total

(On Word, I was able to create brackets to make that easier to understand, but they don't translate into Blogger. Shoot.)

Reserve Streak of Three = 0 points: There are no “reverse streak of 3’s” (or 4’s or 5’s).

Top 3 = 6 points: If you get the top three in ANY order, you get 6 points. For example, if you say that Scotty, Pia, and James will be in the top three and they are, you get 6 points, no matter who comes in first, second, and third.

Top 2 = 8 points: If you get the top two in ANY order, you get 8 points. For example, if you say it will come down to Casey and Haley and it does, you get 8 points, no matter who wins and who is the runner-up.

Winner = 10 points: If you call the winner you get 10 points.

Top 3 In Order = 10 points: If you get the top three IN RANK ORDER, you get an extra 10 points, on top of the 6 points you already got for getting them in any order.

Same week elimination: If two contestants are eliminated in the same week (if, for example, there is another judge’s save or some other crazy thing) then your ranking can swing either way. For example, if Casey and Paul are eliminated in the same week and you have Casey as #4 and Paul as #5 then you can swing Casey or Paul up or down for a “streak.”

That’s it!

You are welcome to keep score along with me. In fact, you might want to just in case my math is rusty or I can’t keep track of my own convoluted rules. If it’s all too confusing, just send me your ranking and sit back and enjoy the show.

Thank you for playing!

This Changes Everything...

Well, not quite everything. But this year the contest will be a ranking of the TOP NINE rather than the TOP TEN. You know what? All I care about is that this year Naima will get to be on the stage at a musical festival instead of cleaning the toilets at the venue. The whole time Casey was hyperventilating about being saved I was about to crap my pants hoping that they wouldn't do another elimination before deciding who got to go on tour. Because if Naima had to clean toilets again? I would cry.

Not that anyone really cares, but Donnie is beating me 41 points to 3. What's left of our teams is as follows:

Donnie: Scotty, Jacob, Haley, Thia, Lauren (Starter), and James (Starter).
Kayla: Stefano, Pia, Naima, and Casey (Starter).

I have NO IDEA how I am going to rank the top nine, so I better pay some serious attention this week and look for signs of weakness and evidence of the white hot core.

FYI: the absence of a white hot core is what Donnie says is keeping me from being a really good runner. He, apparently, possesses one.

The Top 13

Quick update on the Donnie vs. Kayla split the pot. Here is who we each still have in the running:

Kayla: Stefano, Pia, Naima, Casey
Donnie: Scotty, Jacob, Haley, Thia, Lauren, James
Free Agents: Paul, Karen

Donnie lost Ashton this week, but he is still beating me with a whopping +33 to my -2. Are you kidding me??

James and Naima both killed it. I loved James’ “Maybe I’m Amazed,” except I kept cringing thinking he was going to start screaming. In the end, he surprised me by being very soft and controlled. And Naima. Wow. The reggae “Umbrella” was so cool and her dance moves were badass.

It’s going to be so hard to rank a top ten. I think Lauren, Pia, Casey, and Jacob are all in the running to win. What makes that even tougher is that I think James would make a good second-place finisher. But who could he edge out? Also, Scotty McCreery is soooo much better than A-hole (aka Aaron, the young country boy) was last year, and Aaron made it all the way to the number 5 spot. Based on my very informal research (i.e., asking around), I think there is a pretty strong country music voting contingency, which means he could do very well.

Remember, the top 10 open bracket contest will kick off in a couple weeks so start ranking your favorites now.

The Top 12 Girls

Ta-tynisa (Only Girl in the World): What’s with borrowing the cupcake dresses from Toddlers and Tiaras? She’s not the only one (ahem, Lauren, I’m talking to you). Anyway, the song. I thought it was a little bit scream-ish. Now back to the dress. I want one but I have nowhere to wear it.

Naima (Summertime): I LOVE her story. LOVE LOVE. And she did a lovely job. Unfortunately, I agree with Randy about it being a little lounge-y but I like Steven’s idea about bringing a new-old-timey vibe.

Kendra: Who the heck is she? But omg her voice is pretty good. Except she got a little out of breath towards the middle. Forgettable.

Rachel (Criminal): Hate her. Which is sad because I love this song. She’s almost ruined it for me. Like the time I was eating quiche at a function and the guy across the table from me threw his up on his plate. True story.

Karen (Hero): She is gorgeous. She almost looks too much like J-Lo. I dug the Spanish.

Lauren Turner (Seven Day Flu?): How old is she, 50?

Ashton: No. She’s done better.

Julie (Break Away): See, look at the cupcake dress. This is the quintessential American Idol song, but she blew it.

Haley (Fallin): OH WOW. I love her voice. So different. But would I want to hear it for 12 tracks? Not sure. Her personality is cute, too.

Thia (Some Song I’ve Never Heard): I like that she elected to sing without the van. Haha, I don’t know why I wrote “without the van.” Obviously, I meant the band. She also wins best dressed.

Lauren Alaina (Turn On the Radio): She looks like she dressed up as Kelly Clarkson for Halloween.

Pia (Stand By You): Perfect. She’s my favorite girl. She’s had me singing “I’ll Catch a Grenade For You” for weeks. Except in our house we pronounce it "grenod."

The Top 5 Should Be: 1) Pia, 2) Haley, 3) Thia, 4) Lauren A., 5) Ashton. Alternate: Naima.

The Top 24

Well I’m sad to say that I’m never going to make a fortune in talent recruiting. My team was pretty much decimated during Hollywood week and the bizarre Beatles day that followed. Donnie’s team, however, is the American Idol equivalent of the New York Yankees. And yes, that’s because he was willing to pay a price for them. Case(s) in point: he paid $15 for Lauren Aliana and $7 for Jacob Lusk. My hoard of $3 people are on their way home.

I guess I’m learning an important lesson that a lot of cheap things don’t make up for a few quality pieces. I was shopping at Forever 21 and he was shopping at Nordstrom.* And in the end, most of my clothes fell apart and had to be thrown away while he’s still got something to wear. Ugh. I’ve had enough of this analogy, let’s cut to the chase:

Kayla’s Team:
Julie Zorilla
Jordan Dorsey
Stefano Langone
Pia Toscano
Casey Abrams
Naima Adedapo

Donnie’s Team:
Scottie McCreery
Ashton Jones
Rachel Zavita
Jacob Lusk
Lauren Aliana
James Durbin
Haley Reinhart
Clint Jun Gamboa
Jorany The Abs
Thia Megia
Brett Lowenstern

Free Agents:
Paul McDonald
Tatinisa Wilson
Tim Halperin
Lauren with the big hair
Kendra Chantell
Karen Rodriguez

Donnie picked HALF of the top 24. Stop a minute and think about how amazing that is. When you take into account all of the points that I lost for loading up my team with people who didn’t make it past the long walk, I’m at -17 (yes, NEGATIVE) and Donnie is at +7. If this were a board game, I’d probably “accidently” knock the board over as I stood up to get a drink of water. In other words, this gives me a bad attitude.


*I read this line to Donnie and asked for his input on “an expensive place to shop” and he said he couldn’t think of one and that’d he’d probably go to the Target.

Team Standings

Okay, so I’m a little late on reporting the status of the Kayla vs Donnie Team Competition. Here we go. This is who we picked, how much we paid for them, and their current status.

Kayla’s Team:
Picked up during Auditions:
Casey Abrams, $5 (starter), kicking some ass
Caleb Hawley, $3 (starter), still around
Jordan Dorsey, $3 (Starter), still around
Julie Zuerilla, $4 (starter), still around
John Wayne, $3, still around
Naima Adapo, $5, still around
Chris Medina, $4, still around
Stefano from WA, $5, not sure…
Jerome Bell, $3, who knows—haven’t seen him?
Jackie Wilson from Nashville, $3, who knows—haven’t seen her?
Travis Orlando, $3 (Starter), eliminated during first round of Hollywood week!
Kenzie from NJ, $3, eliminated
Scott Dangerfield, $4, bowed out to focus on school
Jacqueline from the couple’s group, $3, quit because she was sick

Picked up during Hollywood Week:
Jaycee, $7, still around
Colton, $3, still around
Hollie Cavanaugh, $3, not sure
Pia, $3, not sure
Chelsee, $3, eliminated after Hollywood solos

Donnie’s Team:
Picked up During Auditions:
Lauren Aliana, $13 (starter), still around
James Durbin, $4 (starter), still around
Brett, $3 (starter), still around
Robbie Big Shnoz, $3, still around
Jorany the Shipbuilder, $3, still around
Scottie, $3, still around
Thia McGee, $3, still around
Haley, $3, still around
Clint Jun, $3, still around
Paris Tassin, $3 (starter), eliminated during groups
Rob from the couple’s group, $6 (starter), eliminated during groups
Tiffani from the Jersey Shore, $3, eliminated during groups

Picked up During Hollywood Week:
Ashton, $3, still around
Jacob Lusk, $7, still around
Carson the Blonde, $3, still around
Rachel Zavita, $3, not sure…

It’s hard to tell now who is really doing better because there was mass confusion after the big rooms of people were eliminated/passed through. Right now I’m predicting a showdown between Jacob Lusk, Casey Abrams, and Lauren Aliana. Unfortunately, Donnie has 2 out of the 3.

Also, I win the prize for the most unstable group. One of my people quit to focus on the ninth grade and the other quit because her tummy hurt. At least neither of us have crazee Ashley. The girl needs to go home and eat a burrito.

Does anybody know the status of any of the people we're unsure about? I tried to google them but I kept seeing the word "Spoiler" and had to quickly close the page.

Best performance of Hollywood Week: The Minor's, Somebody to Love!

In-House Split the Pot

Well, I'll go ahead and jump on the bandwagon and agree with everything I've read about the new judges being very pleasant to watch. I was SUPER skeptical and thought that this season was going to be a downer, but so far I've been entertained. Who knew that the Aerosmith guy was so funny? I loved his little hat.

So the point of this post is to introduce the in-house competition that Donnie and I have started as a prelude to the open bracket competition. We're watching the auditions and picking people who we want on our "team." Think of it as fantasy football. It goes like this: we have a blank sheet of paper divided into two columns. When one of us likes someone we put them on our side of the paper, which represents our team. An idol can only be on one team. To make things interesting, each idol costs 3 (pretend) dollars, which goes into the "pot." If we both want the same person, we can try to outbid each other to have them on our team. However, we each only have 50 (pretend) dollars to use.

1. Once auditions are over we pick 5 "starters" out of the people on our team.
2. For each person on our team who doesn't make it past Hollywood week, we have to subtract 2 points from our tally. This gives us incentive not to load up our teams, but to choose wisely. Well, that and the fact that each person costs 3 (pretend) dollars.
3. Each time someone on our bench team advances to the next week during a week when there is an elimination we get 1 point.
4. Each time one of our starters advances to the next week during a week when there is an elimination we get 2 points.
5. Each person on our team that makes it to the top 3 earns us 5 points.
6. Each person on our team that makes it to the top 2 earns us 10 points.
7. If someone on our team is the overall winner, we get 15 points.
8. These are not doubled for starters.
9. Whoever has the most points gets all of the (pretend) money that went into the "pot" to purchase team members.
10. We can trade team members at any time if both of us agree.
11. Trading can go like this: "I'll do the dishes if you trade me Caleb for Robbie" or "I'll give you a back rub if you trade me Brett for Travis."

So far our teams go like this...

Kayla: Caleb from NY ($3), Kenzie from NJ ($3), Travis from NY ($3), Jordan from NO ($3). $38 left to spend.

Donnie: Tiffani "Jersey Shore jujubees on her hoohoobees" ($3), Robbie "Big Schnoz" from NY ($3), Jorany "the abs" from NO ($3), Brett with the red hair from Boca Raton ($3), and Paris the single mom from NO ($3). $35 left to spend.

Stay tuned for the open bracket competition, which we'll start when we get down to the top 10!